Final Testimony

As missionaries we are often asked to share our "final testimony" with people as we are departing to go home. Well this is my last day as a full-time missionary serving the Lord Jesus Christ, so I want to share my final testimony with all of you.

When I grew up as a teen I went through all the motions and did everything a good Mormon girl was supposed to do. I attended every Sunday and did all my assignments. But then in college I started to realize I didn't know what I believed. I didn't know if everything I have been told all my life was actually true or if I would get to the other side and God would say "well, you were definitely working hard, but you didn't have to work that hard." It scared me.

My junior year I knew there was a change coming, I could feel some big change coming on the horizon, I just wasn't sure what it would be. I changed majors, and that didn't fulfill it. I dated a few guys, and that didn't fulfill it. But then I started to realize that I did know I believed in God, and that I had never really consulted Him on my life decisions. So I decided to. And boy was I surprised. He told me to serve a Mormon mission. And at the same time, a dear family member was diagnosed with heart failure and given 6 months to live. I realized it was time to decide to know what I did and didn't believe in when it came to religion. So I started praying even harder and begging for answers. And the answer kept coming as Mormon mission. So I went forward on a path I didn't understand. 

And boy has that mission taught me a few things.

Jesus Christ lives. 

God is our Father. He loves us.

The Church of Jesus Christ is the Kingdom of God on the earth.

The Book of Mormon is the most true book on the earth I have ever read and I love it. 

Baptism is the greatest gift God has given all of us to be forgiven of our sins.

There is no place I'd rather be on a Sunday than at the Church.

Jesus Christ lives.

Jesus Christ loves us. 

Jesus Christ suffered and died not just to pay for sin, but to understand our pain when we suffer. 

And this the point I want to leave burned into your hearts like it is in mine. Christ loves you and I more than either of us can ever imagine. He has helped me through the the hardest and darkest hours of my life. I cannot say that my mission has not been a struggle. I have depression and sometimes it's not the easiest. But He has rescued me from every dark moment and showed so much love to me. I know that without a doubt that He will rescue any soul who reaches out to Him. And I know that I am a member of His restored gospel. I want this blessing for all of you. If you are a member, take it a little more serious today. If you aren't, ask the missionaries. I want you to have the joy that this gospel has brought me the past two years as I have served the Lord. I have come to know Him better than I ever thought possible. I have come to understand His love for us more than I ever have and want to spend the rest of eternity in the arms of that love. And I want that for you too. So will you get a Book of Mormon today and read it? Pray about it? Please? I know it will bring you a peace you've never felt and you will be filled with His love for you.

I know it.

Who am I?

"Who am I really?" I stared into the mirror asking this question of a person I didn't recognize. This happened frequently. Then I would try to shake myself out of it and go back to missionary work. The problem was, that question would always somehow find it's way back into my mind. Each time this happened it got scarier and harder to shake the feelings of emptiness. I felt like a hollow shell with no purpose, path, or place.

I had once known the answer. At least I thought I knew. At college I had many nicknames: Business Barbie, Tour guide Barbie, College Barbie, and the list goes on. I had been what some people might title an "It Girl". At least that's the way I felt. I had all the friends in the world, the best job, a great career track. I had worked hard at the gym to have a strong toned body. I was Chrissy.

Yet less than a year later I found myself staring in a mirror asking "Who are you?"
 

I had gone from this girl. (see below)

 To this girl. (see below again)

 

I didn't feel like or much look like the old girl. And it hurt. I felt very lost. I didn't know what the point of anything was. I felt like a failure every day. I'm sure you have felt like this at some point. Luckily, I had people who intervened and started me on a track to answer that question. It required a lot of soul searching. After months the picture began to form. I started to get a glimmer and then I was slammed one day by the statement of another person when they said they were a child of God. And then I knew.

 

I am a daughter of God.

 

Let me repeat myself.

 

God is my Father. He is my Creator.

 

And because of that I mean something! I have value. I may not have the world at my fingertips anymore. I may not be the coolest girl you've ever known. But guess what, God thinks I'm pretty cool. And guess what? He thinks you're pretty cool too.

 

You are a child of God.

 

Let me repeat myself.

 

God is your Father. He is your Creator.

 

I read a hymn this morning that said this:

 

Children of our Heav'nly Father

Safely in his bosom gather;

Nestling bird nor star in heaven

Such a refuge e'er was given.

 

Neither life nor death shall ever

From the Lord his children sever;

Unto them his grace he showeth,

And their sorrows all he knoweth.

 

Though he giveth or he taketh,

God his children ne'er forsaketh;

His the loving purpose solely

To preserve them pure and holy.

 

 

He knows you! He is the Grand Creator of the universe and loves you and me. I had a hard journey before I came to this understanding. I recognized Him as some great and marvelous Being. But not as a Father that I know personally and that knows me inside and out. I didn't realize that I could go to Him in prayer and lay everything on the table. Everything. God and I had a lot of good conversations with tears, laughter, and love. And He can do the same with you! He understands what you are feeling and He knows how to help you through.

 

 

When I realized who He is in my life and my relationship with Him, I also began to understand who I am. I began to understand who I can become. Who He wants me to be. And with that power I live every day of my life discovering more of me and more of Him and the success we can have as a team together! It is a grand adventure putting my life in the hands of the Almighty. I learn and grow every moment of every day.

 

I don't know that I can truly convey the impact those 6 words have on every day of my life. It can for you too. But it's a journey you have to take. And someday you'll be hit by the simple phrase "I am a child of God."